Monday, 8 October 2012

The Perils Of The Gluten Free Sourcing Food Shop

So y'know, you take a wander down the world food aisles in the hope that you'll find something new and brilliant like the Cheese Bread discovery. You're scouring the various exotic looking items on offer in the hope that you'll see a gluten free label or at the very least no gluten on the ingredients list. You're just taking in everything you can in the hope that something will jump out as instinctively gluten free and you happen upon these things:

(Please note that I have no idea if these things are gluten free or not. I kind of got distracted from investigating.)


shito
I'd Really Rather Not
A hot chilli sauce called Shito? That doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster at all. I wonder how often this conversation happens: "So Darling, what shall we have for dinner tonight?" "How about some Shito and Rice" "Fantastic idea, Shito it is!".

Having the juvenile sense of humour that I do, were I to be a cashier and this were amongst a weekly shop I would laugh.

Next up:
cock flavoured seasoning
Ahem
If you don't fancy the chicken seasoning to the right you could always bag yourself some of this flavoursome ingredient. Dunn's River sounds like a hoot.

My personal favourite:

Well.
Oh the things I could make with Fufu Flour *has no idea*. The examples on the packaging are just...... delightful. Are those b88b implants?!

Ok, so out of the strangeness of the world food aisles and into the frozen section, it's perfectly normal there, right?

linda mccartney fish free king prawns
Not Exactly
Fish Free King Prawns, what the f&%£?! I totally get the meat replacement stuff, I've eaten my fair share prior to being gluten free. However, Fish Free King Prawns?! I'm just at a loss here. Were I to have a shellfish allergy I'm sure that I'd be quite happy to see these but really? If it doesn't taste like a prawn, doesn't have the texture of a prawn, allergy or not, I don't think I'd miss prawns enough to eat these.

These products all remind me of a series of Catherine Tate sketches where a disgruntled couple would sit on their sofa discussing their recent eating out experiences. To say they aren't adventurous when it comes to trying new foods is an understatement. The catchphrase at the end is a sweary one, just to warn you.

(If you are reading good people of the Gluten Free Sub, I am still trying to source some ingredients for the experiments. You inspired this post.)
In case you're wondering, this wasn't the intended post for today but It's coming! 

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