Thursday 25 September 2014

The Mystery Of Free From G

You know how when you're little, your parents are pretty much your world? And that everything you learn, is from their imparted knowledge? Well mine did a great job, especially my Mum. I was reading well before I ever set foot on school concrete, my maths were very advanced and I was generally quite bright thanks to lots of time spent educating little me.

The thing is - and I'm only now realising just how much - my parents kind of had/have their own 'language', which I of course grew up with thinking it was completely normal. Why wouldn't I?

I was well into my twenties when I discovered that in the nursery rhyme The Cat and The Fiddle, that the cat in fact did not do a piddle all over the kitchen floor.

That was my Dad, not him piddling but him telling me the cat did in the rhyme. He knew that wasn't how it went but artistic license was used heavily in our house.

There are many other instances where I've grown up knowing something as one thing, only to find out at a much later date that it's actually not called that at all, but in keeping with the blog I'll keep this on the subject of food.

Oh man.

So for years I thought that one of my favourite foodstuffs was called... wait for it....


Thing is, I'd never written it down. Which now makes this story sound all the more ridiculous.

Crapla would be made by my Mum in huge batches to freeze, it used to take her hours. She would make the pasta, roll it out then cut it into little squares, fill each one with meat then seal. Chicken Soup just wasn't the same without Crapla.

Before I left home I took on the Crapla making duty, so easy but a bit trying time-wise. I continued to make it up until I found out I had to be gluten free.

A couple of years before I got sick I started writing my tried and tested recipes online, one day I decided to do my no frills but favourite Chicken Soup recipe, including how to make Crapla.

There was a lot of head scratching that day.

I wanted to make sure I had the correct spelling but searching Crapla wasn't getting me anywhere.

Did you mean: crapola

No, I did not mean CRAPOLA! I meant what I typed... Crapla.

So now I'm thinking, how many people have I had a conversation with about Chicken Soup? And if I talk about Chicken Soup, I'm definitely going to talk about Crapla, why has no one ever said "hang on, WHAT?! Don't you mean......" Not one person.

I don't know what search I did to find out that it was actually called Kreplach. KREP NOT CRAP!!!

Both are however off the menu for obvious reasons now and I'm too embarrassed to make a gluten free version. Thanks Mum.

So now we come to a mystery I am yet to solve, it's really got me puzzled. I've grown up knowing a type of Jewish Salami as........


It never occurred to me that Voosh was a funny name until recently.

It all began when my Dad lost his Voosh.

(I thought about writing Salami but that sounded equally as wrong)

My Dad's a bit of a Peter Pan, very un-grown-up humour *looks around* and he has this thing where if anything goes missing he says The Glutenite has stolen it from him.

During a phone conversation with my Mum she told me about the Salami (I'm playing it safe because knowing my parents the V word could mean ANYTHING and I do not want to offend anyone if it does because I'm truly clueless about this) going missing and in the background my Dad is shouting "The Glutenite took it, he was at the fridge, I saw him!"

Which me and my Mum thought was hysterical because The Glutenite would absolutely not steal my Dad's Salami.

When The Glutenite came home I told him that my Dad had accused him of stealing his V****, to which he replied "What's V****?"

So I did a search to show him.



I've only ever known this stuff as V****, yet it seems that NO ONE ELSE on the entire internet has.

It's always in a red wrapper and it's a deep red when it's cooked. This is what it looks like.

Can someone explain? I mean, I don't think it's as simple as a mispronunciation this time. It's seems like a completely made up word going back to my Grandparents.

Is V**** an actual name for this stuff?

Complete and utter mystery.


  1. Lol-so funny, thank you for the laughs today! :D I don't know the answer to your question, but hopefully you will find an answer soon! xo

  2. Yay! For the laughs. I'm still baffled Carol! x


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