Friday, 21 March 2014

Olfactory System Overload

So, last night, The Glutenite comes out of the bathroom and says "there's a really weird smell in there" - Apartment living, our air vents are all connected. Lovely - "It smells like burning (worrying) or fish (yuck)". I thought back to years ago in another apartment we lived in where the waft of a neighbour's fish curry smell lingered for hours, I figured it would be of a similar stench.

Off the sofa I got and before I even reached the bathroom door it hit me - a pong so putrid that I immediately had to retreat. Was it burning or fish? It was Both. Burnt - no doubt blackened - fish skin funk, quite possibly the worst thing I have ever had the displeasure to experience in my nasal passages (well other than the alien)

And I've eaten stinky Surstromming.

The only worse smells I've encountered have been the fish curry and one time when The Persian emerged from under a packed clothes horse of freshly washed clothes reeking of B.O. I wish I could give you an explanation but I can't, it's one of my life's most mysterious moments.

The fish stink was swiftly neutradol'ed by The intrepid Glutenite and it was gone as quick as it had appeared.

As lovely as our home is it does get invaded by pongs quite regularly, there's a restaurant close by whose food smells just like when you walk past a burger van, fried onions and questionable meat aromas. Then sometimes you'll walk down the communal corridor and you'll be hit with a combination of weed and dirty nappy stench, a pairing I'm yet to get my head around.

I often wonder if, when neighbours walk by our door they slow their pace or actually stop for a moment because when we cook it always smells gorgeous, especially if we've got the smoker going.

It could be worse, I remember as a child taking the dog for long walks at weekends with my Dad. We used to get to the park by a route that meant passing by a few high blocks of flats and on most journeys we would encounter a dirty nappy being flung from one of the windows. Once there was even a whole frozen chicken thrown out and narrowly avoided. Just tossed out of a window like the most normal thing in the world.

Ah, London life.

It's funny though, my sense of smell has definitely evolved since going gluten free. I remember the first time I went into a McDonalds a few years in and the overwhelming smell was surprising, it was of sugar. Now, I know sugar doesn't smell but it was a heady sweetness that was the overriding factor. I'm guessing in the burger buns. Same when I pass a pizza place, I can smell the sugar in the dough more than any other ingredient. The bakery section in supermarkets, same thing, it's odd to me and I really don't like it.

I've often wondered if it is in relation to coeliac, or just weird ole me?

Spider update: No more thankfully, possibly due to a lemon juice / water concoction that The Glutenite made up and sprayed on the window ledge. I still keep checking though.

Have a great weekend.

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